They fed me another margarita. I was in no shape to ride to a safer place for the night. They invited me to sleep in a cabin made of scrap plywood next to the alligator pit. I can't really go into what happened that night other than to say that it was both pleasurable and revolting ... and that I was hoping Sally's boyfriend wouldn't kick my butt in the morning.
Instead, he simply smiled and asked,"How was she?"
Getting back in the saddle felt nice. I headed over to Meramec Caverns, had some food and found out that the bumper sticker was invented here in 1935. After the alleged Jesse James hideout, I felt like I needed a place to hide out, so I cruised to the Kansas border in search of a free clinic.
Pull over!
I could have spent a week in Missouri, but with my schedule, I only had two days. Make sure to get her a souvenir or a photo of you at one of these places.
St. Louis
City Museum is way weirder than its name implies. Come here to see giant junk sculptures, the world's largest pair of underpants, and take some time to see a circus or pet a few sharks.
Anheuser-Busch Brewery is a good reason to stay in St. Louis overnight.
Stop by for a trip down memory lane at the American Kennel Club Museum of the Dog. Just don't bring a chick in with you. There is a memorial of Lassie, and you don't want a repeat of the last time you saw that movie. Crybaby!
The St. Louis Car Museum has over a hundred vehicles on display. Bring lots of cash. Most of the classics are for sale, and they are currently selling a pristine 1929 Harley-Davidson JD.
Springfield
Do you like hunting, fishing or stuffed dead things? Do you like lots of it? Then you will love the home of Bass Pro Shops.
Marionville
Just a short distance from Springfield is the town of Marionville. Why should you care? Because they got freaking albino squirrels, man. And these aren't like the ones Uncle Bob made using that whole bottle of bleach in the birdbath.